Lindsay Lohan Celebrates 24th Birthday With a Punch to the Face

Lindsay Lohan

First Paris Hilton's day is ruined, and now Lindsay Lohan takes one to the kisser from a random stranger. I feel like I hit the lottery and I didn't even PLAY.
Last night while Lindsay Lohan was enjoying a nice warm cup of chamomile tea, a waitress at Voyeur walked up to her and punched her in the face. Lindsay immediately took to her Twitter account, tweeting:

"A waitress just hit me - punched me for no reason."
And for once, she wasn't full of caca.  According to E!Online, Lindsay was sitting with an ex-flame of the waitress, rugby player Danny Cipriani, when the girl flew into a rage and punched our always innocent starlet.
To add insult to injury, today is Lindsay's 24th birthday.  Don't look at me; obviously homegirl is suffering from some kind of Benjamin Buttons disease...no one should look that washed up at 24.
Actually, I take that back.  She looks kind of better since she's been on probation, though still a good 10 years beyond her natural age.