Tammy Lynn to Melissa Etheridge: New Dildos are Here!

Tammy Lynn to Melissa Etheridge: 

New Dildos are Here!

Reliable sources have confirmed that Melissa Etheridge really is dating Linda Wallem, the creator of Nurse Jackie and former best friend of ex-wife Tammy Lynn Michaels.

That's awkward. But it's not nearly as awkward as the way in which Michales learned that Etheridge was being unfaithful, as explained in a new poem Tammy has posted on her website, titled "speak, spread walk the talk." It tells the story of a mis-labeled box of dildos.

Writes Michaels:

i moved out november 23rd 2009
she said it would help
i was convinced it would
too and i trusted there was
no one else
i didn't know
there was someone moving in
as i was moving out

indeed

 

three weeks later a box of new toys
was delivered and her assistant brought
it to my rental house as a mistake
i opened it
and that's when i felt something was up

i called her
"i have your new dicks on my kitchen counter?"

one never even said one was breaking up with me
one only says things in song and string

and then i listened to the album
and i understood
oh
you don't want to work it out
oh you already have someone in the wings
oh you already have pined for another
oh you are done here

oh i have become another one of your exes

oh i have become an album

You really need to go read the entire missive on Tammy's blog.

In Verse: Tammy Lynn Michaels Laments Loss of Wife, Money

In Verse: Tammy Lynn Michaels Laments Loss of Wife, Money

Tammy Lynn Michaels says ex-wife Melissa Etheridge has screwed her and the couple's children out of money.
Etheridge, conversely, has seemingly proven in court that this isn't the case.

THG is not here to take sides, at least not in this important matter. But we are here to give Michaels props for the most creative way to publicly air one's grievances. Tammy Lynn has taken to her blog to post the following poem:

"pays all the bills"
not entirely true

"pays all the bills she chooses to pay"
"pays all the bills her people thinks
are important enough to pay"
is more accurate
when i went to get cash
just last week
for the three of us to eat
nothing
today i was shopping for birthday decor
4th next sunday!
little cash for lunch?
nope- not enough funds
no food
"pays all her bills"
not entirely true
my medical bills?
yes- insurance covers it all
for a small monthly fee
the house? i didn't pick it out
they did
the kids' education?
she chose the private schooling
i'm fine if they're in public
using my kids as pawns? in boston?
never
i had a choice to come to LA
-see so many thing were bleeding
and i took the choice
her lawyer lies about
me using the kids as pawns -
he should have looked at the schedule
before we left LA- Boston was tentative-
and the silence from her regarding my actions
breaks me, as she lets the world think
(again) something else is true
than what is and was.
she plays the games with her lawyer now
by being quiet.
i sit here quietly watching her people
launch campaigns against me on the 'net
smudgin' and sludgin'
but they don't know nothin'
what i came into the relationship with
commercial cash and television stashes
working here and there in the marriage
and now some sit in tiny judgement
not knowing how much is fact
how far it goes back
how much is fiction
and how much is opinion.

but i can tell you i've turned from that machine hungry hungry too many times now– and i might never trust another soul again.

and i don't think i know what love is, or a promise. and romance? smoke and mirrors, ladies!!! smoke and mirrors! don't fall for it! it's all a line up for bull that'll leave you with saggy boobs and stretch marks in the end.

and to be honest?

what the fuck is marriage all about anyway? i thought i did everything i was supposed to do. support support support. love family, be there, love, right? all for naught or have i still everything to learn about love? and that was nothing? or the letting go of this is THEE LESSON of loving. argh.

someone told me that chemotherapy just messes with a brain chemistry, changes the brain, the person, and makes them just in general different. they might b meaner, or illogical, often imbalanced, or whatever. but they just don't come out the same. hardly ever, i am told. and they can't help it. it just is.
and i think about that alot too.

posted by Tammy, midwestern girl/Mom

Court Documents Reveal Melissa Etheridge Support, Tammy Lee Michaels Greed

Over the past couple weeks, Tammy Lynn Michaels has penned a couple blog entries that painted Melissa Etheridge in a very poor light.

The most recent poem claims Michaels does not have a dollar to her name, a statement that comes soon after this former actress filed for full custody of her and the singer's children.

However, newly released court documents show that Tammy might be exaggerating her situation - and asking for unrealistic demands from her partner of nine years.

In the papers, Etheridge says Michaels is using their twins as "pawns," citing a July 6 visit to Boston where the pair had agreed Melissa would spend time with the kids. Instead, she received a text message from Michaels (It stated: "My plans changed, sorry."), along with the custody filing.

As for Tammy's claim that she's broke and Etheridge refuses to support her and the kids, these documents also reframe that argument.

The singer's lawyer told a judge Monday that his client has been giving Michaels $2,000 a month and paying all of her household expenses. But this isn't enough for Tammy's lifestyle.

She wants an increase in spousal support, along with $4,300 in child support payments. For what purposes? 

Michaels listed her monthly expenses in court:

• $6,000 for rent.
• $1,500 for groceries.
• $800 for eating out.
• $50 for laundry and cleaning.
• $5,000 for clothes.

Yes, these are her monthly expenses. It's a bit hard to feel sympathy for someone that spends $2,300 each month on food and $5,000 each month on clothing.

Last week, a judge shot down the actress' demand for $25,000 to cover her attorney fees and another $25,000 for daily living. (thehollywoodgossip)

Tammy Lynn Michaels Aims Semi-Coherent Poem at Melissa Etheridge

First, Tammy Lynn Michaels was "blindsided" by her break-up with Melissa Etheridge.

Then, she was denied $25,000 in court this week to help her cover the legal fees of their split and upcoming custody battle.

Now, the scorned mother of two has penned a poem on her official website. It's titled ulcers to gallbladder to pancreas to liver and then...? and, well, here it is:

a dillar
a dollar
a trick or treat
hollar
need some help
need some honesty
need some real
call 'er
no answer

gallbladder
pancreas
liver
ulcers
MRIs
ultrasounds
gotta get it done
on pennies now?
somethings going on

gotta get a job
with barf bag in hand?
and leave my twins with who?
and with what babysitting money?

a dillar
a dollar
a trick or treat
hollar

this too shall pass
cuz i believe in miracles
and
miracles look like rainbows.

oh. and we have to be out of our rental in 45 days.
man, i love a challenge.
It's unclear what rhyme scheme this is in, but it's apparent Michaels is suffering. Please give her some money, Melissa. At least to save us the pain of reading more of these missives. (thehollywoodgossip)